Vagina Day
Excelsia by Sonya Stratfull (click to go to her Etsy shop)
“I bet you’re worried. I was worried. That’s why I began this piece. I was worried about vaginas. I was worried about what we think about vaginas, and even more worried that we don’t think about them. I was worried about my own vagina. It needed a context of other vaginas-a community, a culture of vaginas. There’s so much darkness and secrecy surrounding them-like the Bermuda Triangle. Nobody ever reports back from there.” – Eve Ensler, Vagina Monologues
And continued with girls telling stories about hair, pleasure, and sexual abuse. The play also raises awareness and funds to help end violence against women. Near the end, a video projector came down and showed a video about women in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. The war in the DRC has ended, but the violence against women continues, and that’s what I want to focus on today because my mind will not be quiet.
Oh, where to start… Do I tell you how many have been killed? No, I can’t because I don’t know how many have died. I’m not sure anyone does. I will say that the estimated numbers are similar to those associated with the Holocaust.
Do I share about the women who have been raped with guns? Or those forced to watch their young children as they were raped? Or those who had their babies torn out of them and set on fire before their eyes, and then asked to hold them while they burned?
I wonder how it would be different if I changed the language from the passive to the active (I’m taking Advanced Composition right now so I notice these things).
What about the men raping women with guns and other blunt objects? Or the men who force parents to watch as they rape their young children? Or those men who tear babies from mothers’ wombs and set them on fire before the families eyes?
These are very different questions. I know that 1/4 of women are sexually abused before they are 18, but how many men sexually abuse women? And why? What outside (and inside) forces create this behavior, and what can we all do to help heal these hurting men?
Neal. A few years ago in South Africa I became friends with a guy named Neal. He was pretty nice and worked with the community center. When we met, my gut said, “be careful, he’s safe, but…” When he shared his story later in the week, he talked about life in a gang, the women he raped, and the man he killed (the man slept with his gf—shot him 17 or so times). Then he talked about life in prison. Did I mention I liked this guy? Did I stop liking him after? For a bit, yes, I think I hated him for a moment or two. But after he finished talking, I walked up and gave him a hug; he had tears in his eyes when I pulled away. The hug helped me forgive him, helped me humanize him. But I did not forget, and thinking about Neal now, I know it’s not enough to end violence against women. We need to work towards a world where every creature, man or woman or child or animal, can live free from violence.
We are all capable of evil. Our brains can be manipulated while we are still in the womb by what our mothers eat and inject into our tiny bodies; our behavior determined by how much our caretakers touch us during infancy; our ability to love dictated by how we are loved. And of course there’s hunger, extreme poverty, and the need to belong.
But we do have some ability to choose our actions. Anthropologists call this agency, and Christians, free will. While some men destroy women, others devote their lives to healing them. What will you do? You can either be a light and shine on the invisible and broken, or you can be part of the darkness. There is no middle ground.
Violence against women, from a male perspective. (Definitely read ALL of them).
Panzi Hospital - A hospital in the DRC dedicated to providing care to women.
The City of Joy – A community for survivors to heal.
I am an Emotional Creature – A book about young girls around the world.
The United Nations in the DRC - Because I’ll be heading back to the UN for the Commission on the Status of Women (yay!), I checked out their Mission in the DRC. As of December 31, 2009 they have 20,509 total uniformed personnel and 648 UN Volunteers. These people hail from… wait for it… Bangladesh, Belgium, Benin, Bolivia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Burkina Faso, Cameroon, Canada, Central African Republic, Chad, China, Côte d’Ivoire, Czech Republic, Denmark, Egypt, France, Ghana, Guatemala, Guinea, India, Indonesia, Ireland, Jordan, Kenya, Madagascar, Malawi, Malaysia, Mali, Mongolia, Morocco, Mozambique, Nepal, Niger, Nigeria, Norway, Pakistan, Paraguay, Peru, Poland, Romania, Russian Federation, Senegal, Serbia, South Africa, Spain, Sri Lanka, Sweden, Switzerland, Togo, Tunisia, Turkey, Ukraine, United Kingdom, Uruguay, Yemen and Zambia. DOES THIS NOT BLOW YOUR MIND? There are people from over fifty countries working in the DRC to help bring peace and stability to the region. Whether or not it’s working is a different question that I do not have the energy to research, but when else in the history of the world have people from around the world come together for peace?
The Olympics – Continuing on the same theme… people from around the world coming together to play games? Oh gosh, I love it so much. The opening ceremony was beautiful (kind of reminded me of Avatar), but the moments of silence for the young boy who died struck a negative cord with me. Please don’t get me wrong, his death is tragic, but at the risk of sounding like a broken record: what about all the people dying every single day from hunger, dirty water, and preventable diseases? Can we have a moment of silence for them?
- Assisting the transition to democratic rule
Filed under: Musings | 1 Comment
Tags: against women, college of the atlantic, congo, drc, guide for a young girl, Olympics, rape, resource, sex slavery, United Nations, vagina, vagina monologues, vday, vday men, violence
Julia De Santis
Under the African Sky (get the book!)
Such a blessing, once again, to read of your experiences!
Say Julia, what’s your spiritual community like out in Maine – have you a church over there?
It’s unfortunate that we’ve both been busy over your recent visit here, but I’m glad I could briefly see you.
Until next time!