On Me…
Many years ago I figured out where I am happiest. It’s Africa. I don’t know if it will always be Africa, but right now it’s Africa. This summer’s experience in Kenya reinforced what I knew to be true but did not want to believe. I had to return home to learn more before committing fully to a life of service abroad. I know I have more to learn before I can go back. I want to accomplish the most that I can in this short life.
As George Bernard Shaw said, “This is the true joy in life … being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one … being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy … I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die. For the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It’s a sort of splendid torch which I’ve got to hold up for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing on to future generations.”
A year ago, I figured out where I want to live while I’m in the US preparing to go elsewhere. I believe we are all made to live in fellowship and close communion with each other and we ARE our brother’s keepers. What does that mean? Well, according to Jesus it means that we are supposed to love our neighbors as ourselves. Except it’s more than that too, it’s putting others needs and desires before my own. Always thinking about what is in the best interest of others- even at my own expense. So that’s what I’m trying to do with my life. I know it sounds difficult, but sit for a second and think of how different the world would be if everyone loved everyone and everyone put everyone else’s best interest first. Wow. What would that look like, and would it even work? That’s what I want to find out.
How does this translate into every day things? Well, if I want food to eat, I have to be just as concerned that all my neighbors have food too. Or shelter, a good education, safety, loving relationships, you name it. Some people think a neighbor is someone living next door, or in the neighborhood, or even in the country. I like to think of the world as one place, and the human population as one big family where we are all brothers and sisters just trying to get along.
So, I figured I’d go to the poorest area I could find. Well, with three friends, I found it! Mott Haven, located in the South Bronx, is less than 20 miles from my home in Rye, New York. More than 50% live below the poverty line. More than 35% of them are children. The idea was to move in, live very simply, make many friends, really get to know the people and become a part of the community, all while going to school. Why? We can accomplish more that way. By living in the community, and becoming part of the community, we aren’t just coming in and saying, “ok, here I am, let me help!” and then packing up and leaving a few hours, days, or weeks later. Who am I to help these people? I have NO idea what they really need or what I have to offer. Sure, I can do the things like tutor, or serve at a soup kitchen, but there’s no way to know about the long-term effects of said help without joining the people and becoming one of them.
Here are some examples from around the world to illustrate what I mean. In the winter of 2002, I handed out Christmas gifts to the children living in the garbage dumps of Mexico. These kids live in cardboard boxes or abandoned cars, and live on what they can salvage of other people’s trash. So, I go and hand out whatever I have to give them- little toys and food. The kids and the mothers are thrilled. They give us hugs while murmuring “gracias” over and over again with tears in their eyes. Sounds great, right? Wrong- really wrong. The 500 toys we handed out that Christmas had a negative effect on the community as a whole. While the kids went to bed happy that night, the father’s (the providers for the family) lost respect in the eyes of the children. We stepped in, took the father’s place, and gave the family’s more than the father’s could- thus usurping them of the power and respect father’s need to raise a family. There was an easier way we could’ve done this, and a better way for the community as a whole. The next year, the Christmas toys were kept at the community center, and a few nights before Christmas, the father’s came, bought their children Christmas gifts (for a very low price), wrapped the gifts themselves, and then gave them to their kids Christmas morning. Problem solved. Because Tim lives there all the time, he could see the effects of our “help” and make changes accordingly.
Very few people need hand outs- people need hands! Many times, handouts just reinforce the cycle of poverty and the power divisions between the haves and the have-not’s.
One missionary friend brings me stories from Honduras where do-gooders come in with toothbrushes and pens and pencils to build a school building. They hand out their gifts to the children; take lots of pictures, and leave. The long-term missionaries are left fixing the wreckage left behind. The next day kids whack each other with their new gifts and fight over them. The children who did not get any are upset and mad that God has been so unfair. Next time visitors come, the kids ask for more. If the new visitors are unprepared to give out gifts, the kids ask, “What’s wrong? Do you not love us? The visitors before gave us gifts.” If a mission team builds a long-term relationship with people, they must be careful NOT to reinforce a cycle of have and have-nots.
In Kenya, the kids on the side of the road have gotten so used to receiving sweets from visitors. Whenever you walk by, hundreds of kids run out screaming, “sweets, sweets, sweets please!” I look and smile and shake my head and keep walking.
What I’d like to do is live in one community for a few years before tackling social problems that right now, I am only beginning to understand (poverty, welfare, drugs, gang warfare, school drop-out rates, health issues, etc.). In the meantime, I just want to learn, learn, learn, and learn some more! And love all the people I meet.
Jillian, who is a total saint, spent the summer finding the perfect place. Our apartment is located at Beekman Avenue at 141st street. Beekman’s notorious for being one of the deadliest and most dangerous streets in the city- and it’s a very short block! In the past few days I’ve spent time walking around and getting to know the people. The next entry will contain what I’ve learned from my conversations, observations, and the book “Amazing Grace” by Jonathan Kozol.
3 comments
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August 25, 2008 at 5:52 am
Jodi
Hi there! I apologize for the randomness of this reply, but I found your blog while doing research on Mott Haven. I’m a journalism student at Columbia Univ. covering Mott Haven for the year, and I would love to talk with you more about your bold move to the neighborhood. I, too, am a believer, and so respect your decision to live out a missions lifestyle right where you are. I’ll be in the neighborhood all week (and continually throughout the semester), so would love to meet up if you get a spare moment. My email is jmb2259@columbia.edu–blessings to you!
September 6, 2008 at 7:13 am
Kaya
the depth of your white privilege is astounding. a poor black neighborhood is not a zoo or an art exhibit for suburban white kids. you are taking up space that should go to someone who actually lives in that neighborhood and lacks the economic privilege to move away to a better neighborhood. this is how gentrification gets started.
i don’t even know what else to say, i’m just floored by how patronizing this is and so uncomfortable i can no longer even look at this. ugh.
September 15, 2008 at 7:21 am
Julia
Please let me explain. I think you have the wrong impression from reading my update about the South Bronx. I agree, the depth of my white privilege IS astounding, and I don’t like it and it makes me feel physically sick. A black neighborhood is not a zoo nor an art exhibit. We are not treating it as such in ANY way. As of right now, I am not living there, but the girls who are living there have goals that have nothing to do with self-gain, or a some sort of school project. They are living there because they are appalled at the differences in socio-economic living situations in the United States. They want to change things. What is a better way to change something than working from the heart of it? They have made incredible friendships from living there. One girl spends every day tutoring at schools in the area and she runs a non-profit connecting other college kids to mott haven students for tutoring. Another one works there as a teacher! Kids from the buildings around the apartment come and get help on their homework. What is so wrong about this? Taking it to a deeper level, they are trying to follow Jesus’s instruction to love their neighbors as themselves. They are not religious nutcases moving in trying to convert people. They do not go from door to door with “Jesus Loves You” pamphlets. They are just living and loving people who think they have been “forgotten about” by the system, and the rest of the world (quoting a woman I met on the street).
I, personally, am still just a student trying to learn everything I can. That’s why I want to live in the area- so that I can understand the problems on a deeper level to change things. I want to put my white privileged education to good use. I’ve met some really cool people that I would otherwise never have met. I am not living there because it’s cheaper, nor because I’m fascinated by the people, and certainly not because I want to start to kick people who “deserve” to live there out (gentrification- and no one deserves to live there anyway). I’m sorry if that was not clear enough in my entry.
I’m confused at the statement that I will be “taking up space that should go to someone who actually lives in that neighborhood.” Please explain more. I am not living in low-cost housing nor am I mooching off the welfare system. I do come from a very wealthy area, but why do you condemn me for wanting to move away from excess wealth? The situation in the South Bronx is a crisis. When New Orleans needed help (as I know it still does), volunteers went down to help people clean up. Some left “better” areas to move there to devote more time to helping. The same goes for many other places around the world. What is so wrong about people loving other people? Because when it comes down to it… that is really the ONLY goal.
May I ask where you are from and what your background is? Do you know the area? I am taking your comment very seriously and want to understand more. Thank you.
- Julia