When you judge someone else, you do not speak anything to who they are, but only speak volumes about yourself. – not sure, maybe me?

There ain’t no use in right or wrong, a heart must go where it belongs. – Thriving Ivory

It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path. – Paulo Coelho

I can’t accept that there are people around the world suffering needlessly. That’s the keyword- needlessly. Suffering is inevitable. Pain happens. We hurt. But, people dying from lack of clean water? From a curable disease? This is unnecessary! And it’s impossible for me to accept that “that’s just the way it is.” But, what I find unacceptable others might not think twice about. In fact, they might even think about it, shrug and say “that’s just the way it is.” Whatever they do or do not do to help out their brothers and sisters around the world, it is not my place to judge. And really, I don’t. You do your thing, and I’ll do mine, and if we end up going the same way, it’s beautiful, and if not, that can be beautiful too.

A friend and I discussed this a few weeks ago in London, and I couldn’t express this right, but now I think I’ve got it. The conversation started from talking about whether or not gender inequality is wrong. She argued that I cannot say what is “right” or “wrong” for anyone else, only myself, and that gender inequality is often a cultural thing. I disagreed, giving an example of a man who rapes his three-year old daughter, then brings her to the hospital because she won’t stop bleeding, and he doesn’t see anything wrong with his actions. He considers his daughter his property. I do not hesitate to say that the man raping his daughter is wrong. She asked who gets to decide then what’s wrong and right? I said God. And she said, “And if not God, who for those who don’t believe in God?” I said, “I don’t know, I guess they let themselves decide… maybe society? But, society can be wrong. Even if a community or society thinks something is right, if it’s not, then they’re wrong.” Talk about confusing myself! Anyway, that’s one of the reasons I believe there is a God. I feel very strongly that there are right and wrong things in this world.

Love is good, hate is bad- but that in no way means that things are black and white or that people are either good or bad. What about the abused child who grows up to abuse? The hungry who steal food? The husband who “murders” his terminally ill, suffering wife? I’m getting off topic, but my point is just that things are never black and white, we live in a world of not only gray, but a world of color! When we are approached by the unknown, it’s human nature to feel afraid (unless we condition ourselves otherwise- which is definitely possible). We want to label and categorize things to help ourselves understand and know how to act.

By embracing it, we’re opening our minds and seeing more in life.

I’m not really sure how we finished our conversation, but, this was where I was getting confused. She asked who gave me the right to judge other people, and I’m not sure I had anything to say back. But now I do, I don’t judge others. I judge other people’s actions, and not the people. Therefore I do not hesitate to say when someone is doing something wrong because it is their action I am judging. Killing someone because of their race, gender, sexual orientation – whatever, is wrong. Abusing kids- wrong. Of course not everything is as clear- but some things are. It’s time we stand up and talk about what’s wrong with our world, because things are not right, and we need to change.