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When you judge someone else, you do not speak anything to who they are, but only speak volumes about yourself. – not sure, maybe me?
There ain’t no use in right or wrong, a heart must go where it belongs. – Thriving Ivory
It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path. – Paulo Coelho
I can’t accept that there are people around the world suffering needlessly. That’s the keyword- needlessly. Suffering is inevitable. Pain happens. We hurt. But, people dying from lack of clean water? From a curable disease? This is unnecessary! And it’s impossible for me to accept that “that’s just the way it is.” But, what I find unacceptable others might not think twice about. In fact, they might even think about it, shrug and say “that’s just the way it is.” Whatever they do or do not do to help out their brothers and sisters around the world, it is not my place to judge. And really, I don’t. You do your thing, and I’ll do mine, and if we end up going the same way, it’s beautiful, and if not, that can be beautiful too.
A friend and I discussed this a few weeks ago in London, and I couldn’t express this right, but now I think I’ve got it. The conversation started from talking about whether or not gender inequality is wrong. She argued that I cannot say what is “right” or “wrong” for anyone else, only myself, and that gender inequality is often a cultural thing. I disagreed, giving an example of a man who rapes his three-year old daughter, then brings her to the hospital because she won’t stop bleeding, and he doesn’t see anything wrong with his actions. He considers his daughter his property. I do not hesitate to say that the man raping his daughter is wrong. She asked who gets to decide then what’s wrong and right? I said God. And she said, “And if not God, who for those who don’t believe in God?” I said, “I don’t know, I guess they let themselves decide… maybe society? But, society can be wrong. Even if a community or society thinks something is right, if it’s not, then they’re wrong.” Talk about confusing myself! Anyway, that’s one of the reasons I believe there is a God. I feel very strongly that there are right and wrong things in this world.
Love is good, hate is bad- but that in no way means that things are black and white or that people are either good or bad. What about the abused child who grows up to abuse? The hungry who steal food? The husband who “murders” his terminally ill, suffering wife? I’m getting off topic, but my point is just that things are never black and white, we live in a world of not only gray, but a world of color! When we are approached by the unknown, it’s human nature to feel afraid (unless we condition ourselves otherwise- which is definitely possible). We want to label and categorize things to help ourselves understand and know how to act.
By embracing it, we’re opening our minds and seeing more in life.
I’m not really sure how we finished our conversation, but, this was where I was getting confused. She asked who gave me the right to judge other people, and I’m not sure I had anything to say back. But now I do, I don’t judge others. I judge other people’s actions, and not the people. Therefore I do not hesitate to say when someone is doing something wrong because it is their action I am judging. Killing someone because of their race, gender, sexual orientation – whatever, is wrong. Abusing kids- wrong. Of course not everything is as clear- but some things are. It’s time we stand up and talk about what’s wrong with our world, because things are not right, and we need to change.
Someone referred to me recently as a “voice for the voiceless.” That makes me cringe because every single person I’ve met has a voice. And a lot of them are using it. They are crying and singing and shouting. It is certainly not that they are voiceless, just that people aren’t listening.
Two elderly missionaries working in Kitale, Kenya were attacked with machettes and clubs earlier this week. John and Eloise Bergen came down a few months ago to work with children affected by the political violence. Together, they started a school in a refugee camp with Hope for the Nations. They plan to stay. John (70) was attacked outside his house, and Eloise (65) in her bathtub. Read the article for all the details (they are very disturbing), but in short, John suffered from multiple fractures of the skull, arms, leg and knee, while Eloise was raped, tied up and beaten. After the attackers left, Eloise freed herself and found her husband in the bushes nearby.
“I wasn’t conscious of overwhelming fear I was just conscious that I must do what they told me to do and I must remain calm and have my mind about me so I would know how to cut myself free and so that I could figure out how to save my husband.” – Eloise
Some of the Bergens children and grandchildren are flying to Nairobi to convince their loved ones to return to Canada. But the couple has already forgiven their attackers.
“Despite this terrifying ordeal, she and John have no plans to return home to Canada. This crisis has given her more strength to help those in need. “When I woke up this morning, I was picturing the time will come when John and I are physically well again,” Eloise said. “It’s in both of our hearts to go to the prison and tell them about our forgiveness.”
What makes two people, brutally attacked and left for dead, forgive? Only one thing. Love. God. Jesus. I know many who would call them crazy and stupid. I don’t. I think their stories are beautiful examples of God’s love. I pray that I will have the courage to make the same sacrifices. They will definitely be in my prayers as they recover and return to work.
Every time I sit down to write, I get a few words out before I am completely overwhelmed by all the things I want to say. I end up leaving the computer to do one of the other many things on my to do list. Here’s a glimpse: start my job, make a movie, visit with the twenty people staying at my house, write a book, organize a thousand pictures, find a house, move into that house… and the list goes on. But even though I am finding it really challenging, I know it is very important to update you. However, I must warn you, there will be many quotes of other people saying the things I am trying to say.
I really enjoyed my time in London. When I booked my ticket, I found it cheaper if I stopped over in London for a few days before going home. Having never seen Europe, and with a best friend offering a place to stay, I booked a six day layover. I also hoped London would ease the pain of leaving Kenya. I’m not sure it did anything about the pain, but London DID give me a chance to rest and reflect before heading back to New York. I planned to dedicate my short time in London to hard core exploring, learning, and sightseeing. Instead, I spent more time in the parks watching the clouds and drawing flowers. Every minute was wonderful. One morning I decided there were some things I really DID want to see so I found a “music of london” tour that went to all the important places of famous musicians (namely the Beatles). But, I missed it. So I started out on my own walking tour with a few long reading breaks in various parks. I chose my direction at random depending on the beat of the song playing. I was pleasantly surprised to find that London’s a really small city and I ended up accidentally wandering into exactly where I wanted to be. Buckingham Palace, Westminster Abbey, the Thames River, the old Shakespeare theatre, and more.
I’m missing Kenya, and I spent yesterday thinking about why I must go back. I’ve come to no conclusions, but I know it has everything to do with love. There’s love in the United States. I am surrounded by the love of my parents, my brothers, my sister, my friends, and my entire family. But it’s harder to find a different kind of love- the love of life. Every time I’ve returned home from a trip, I’ve told people about how these people have nothing, yet they are happier than my friends who have everything. But they are DYING, so how are they happy? Money does not bring always bring happiness. It’s not like that’s groundbreaking news to anyone. But can you have happiness with no money? I mean no money for food, shelter, clean water, or education.
Psychologists say poor people are happy because our happiness is a result of measuring our success to the success of those around us. In Westchester, there is no lack of very rich, successful people and everyone always has more “successful” people to compare themselves to. People are not happy. People certainly appear to be happy, because that’s part of the whole facade. People have three or four houses, memberships at multiple country clubs, more than a few cars, and outfits that could send a kid to the most expensive US colleges, but no love for life! Somewhere along the way we’ve lost it.
We are “slaves to luxury, to the appearance of luxury, to the appearance of the appearance of luxury. Slaves to a life not chosen, but which we have decided to live because someone has managed to convince us that it is all for the best. And so our identical days and nights pass, days and nights in which adventure is just a word in a book or an image on the television that is always on, and whenever a door opens, we say: ‘I’m not interested. I’m not in the mood.’ How could we possibly know if they we are in the mood or not if we have never tried? But there was no point in asking; the truth is we are afraid of any change that would upset the world we have grown used to… I know that freedom has a high price, as high as that of slavery; the only difference is that you pay with pleasure and a smile, even when that smile is dimmed by tears.” (The Zahir, 10)
That’s from a book I’m reading right now by Paulo Coelho. He brings up the question of happiness, and can we ever find true happiness. I agree with his thinking that the only way to achieve happiness is by fully embracing the divine energy that is Love. This leads to joy- which is a kind of happiness so pure that it withstands tragedy and sadness. But, it’s not easy, and it’s really not easy in New York. We are so busy and distracted from the simple things. It takes a consistent effort to remember to relax and enjoy life every day. It’s so difficult to remember to thank God for the gift of life every single day we wake up. If you haven’t stopped reading yet, I apologize, but I’m going to keep going.
My experience in Kenya was in no way an easy one. The things I saw on a daily basis were heartbreaking and frustrating. But, while I was there, I felt such a peace. I lived in the moment- I celebrated the moment, and I never took a minute for granted. Spending a few hours every evening in the hospital made me constantly aware of my brothers and sisters dying around me. While I was in a place where death is REAL and present (it’s real for everyone in the world but in the Western World we have ways of delaying it, hiding it, and forgetting about it), my life has meaning. I joined an amazing team of people who work every day so that others may have basic needs for survival and that makes me live, really live. I mean, loving every minute, every second of every day. There’s no room for sadness, doubts, nothing; there’s just a great love for life. “It’s as if there was a divine light shining in the midst of that worst of all possible situations. Fear exists before and after, but not while you are living it. You see men at their very limit, capable of the most heroic of actions and the most inhumane. The world has meaning. Total power or sacrificing themselves for a cause gives meaning to their life. They are capable of limitless love, because they no longer have anything to lose. We’re always at war with death, and we know that death will win in the end. In armed conflicts or developing countries, this is simply more obvious, but the same thing happens in daily life. We can’t allow ourselves the luxury of being unhappy all the time. Pure, absolute love must flow through our bodies and spread around us. The love of God manifested – is shown through a man loving his neighbor or one sacrificing his or her life for another. If a man or woman loves his or her neighbour, he or she will love himself or herself. If he loves himself, then everything returns to its proper place. History changes. “
I have so much more to say, but it will have to wait. All quotes are from Paulo Coelho!
“It is the pleasure of searching and the pleasure of the adventure. You are nourishing something that’s very important-your dreams. We must never stop dreaming. Dreams provide nourishment for the soul, just as a meal does for the body. Many times in our lives we see our dreams shattered and our desires frustrated, but we have to continue dreaming. If we don’t, our soul dies… …The Good fight is the one we fight because our heart asks it of us… …The Good fight is the one that’s fought in the name of our dreams. When we’re young our dreams first explode inside us with all of their force, we are very courageous, but we haven’t yet learned how to fight. With great effort, we learn how to fight, but by then we no longer have the courage to go into combat. So we turn against ourselves and do battle within. We become our own worst enemy. We say that our dreams were childish, or too difficult to realize, or the result of our not having known enough about life. We kill our dreams because we are afraid to fight the good fight.
The first symptom of the process of killing our dreams is lack of time… The Busiest people I have known in my life always have time enough to do everything. Those who do nothing are always tired and pay no attention to the little amount of work they are required to do. They complain constantly that the day is too short. The Truth is, they are afraid to fight the good fight…
The second symptom of the death of our dreams lies in our certainties. Because we don’t want to see life as a grand adventure, we begin to think of ourselves as wise and fair and correct in asking so little of life. We look beyond the walls of our day-to-day existence, and we hear the sound of lances breaking, we smell the dust and the sweat, and we see the great defeats and the fire in the eyes of the warriors. But we never see the delight, the immense delight in the hearts of those engaged in the battle. For them, neither victory nor defeat is important; what’s important is only that they are fighting the good fight.
And, finally, the third symptom of the passing of our dreams is peace. Life becomes a Sunday afternoon; we ask for nothing grand, and we cease to demand anything more than we are willing to give. In that state we think of ourselves as being mature; we put aside the fantasies of our youth, and we seek personal and professional achievement. We are surprised when people our age say that they still want this or that out of life. But really, deep in our hearts, we know that what has happened is that we have renounced the battle for our dreams-we have refused to fight the good fight. When we renounce our dreams and find peace, we go through a period of tranquility. But the dead dreams begin to rot within us and to infect our entire being. We become cruel to those around us, and then we begin to direct this cruelty against ourselves…What we sought to avoid in combat-disappointment and defeat-came upon us because of our cowardice. And one day, the dead, spoiled dreams make it difficult to breath, and we actually seek death. It’s death that frees us from out certainties, from our work, and from that terrible peace of Sunday afternoons.” The Pilgrimage by Paulo Coelho P. 58
Song: Colin Hay – Waiting for my real life to begin
