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I’ve made it safely to London. Friday at 5am, I left Tenwek by matatu. Petra, Patti and I arrived at Patti’s house around 11am. We spent the day bopping around the city, but made sure to fall asleep EARLY. Yesterday morning, Patti’s mom drove me to the airport. I sat next to a man from the Lake Victoria region who is practicing to be a social worker in London. The 8 hour trip never seems so long when you make friends!
Finding Chelsea wasn’t too hard. I wrongly assumed I’d get a chance to check the internet for an e-mail or fb message with the address on it. Even at the airport the internet wouldn’t work down in the security/baggage claim. So, I grabbed all my stuff and headed down to the tube. I looked at the map to figure out how to get to Brixton. Carrying all my stuff was the hard part- and definitely a reason to get luggage with wheels!! I arrived in Brixton and asked for my way to the nearest internet cafe. The man behind the desk laughed when I walked in (I mean it’s definitely at least 60-70 pounds of stuff). I found a phone and called her cell phone, and sent an e-mail home telling my mom I’d arrived safely. She and Molly were two streets down and found me pretty quickly
I will definitely be updating some more when I get home. Just reflections. I’m looking forward to seeing my family, but, I did not want to leave Kenya. That’s usually true anywhere I go, but this time it was a different feeling. This time, I realized I could stay.
This morning was our last recording day. I have about 15 songs now saved away to bring back. I don’t know the first thing about recording music, but I used Apple’s very easy software GarageBand and they turned out OK. As everyone sang and danced around me, I desperately clinged on to my last few minutes with my beloved friends and walked out of the office with tears in my eyes.
Right into a room filled with the entire TCHD office. TCHD surprised me with send off chai and cake time to say thank you. A few spoke about me and my time here and the impact I’ve had on their lives. And I just cried and cried and cried. I kept trying to say something back- but I just ended up crying some more. Eventually I did, but there was no way to explain how they have impacted me.
My time here has been short. Five weeks is definitely not enough time, but neither is a lifetime. I’m using some equation that might not make sense unless you’re in my head:
5 weeks = not enough time, a lifetime = not enough time. Not enough time= not enough time. 5 weeks = a lifetime = exactly enough time.
Do you get it? 
I learned a LOT, and I plan to go home and do a lot more. Although I do not know what the future holds, I would love to come back for a lot more than five weeks.
All that said, my work here is NOTHING compared to what they do every single day!!! I felt so unworthy of their praises. THEY are the heroes. Not me. I may have “magic fingers” that can connect them to people around the world and teach them how to reach more people with the use of technology but they are the ones devoting every day to improving others lives. When I say they are my heroes, I do not use the term lightly. I am going right to our best idea of hero. “In brief: a hero goes far and wide through great peril, achieves his goal and brings back with him the fruits of victory for the good of society or humanity. Often the journey entails a passage into an other-world in which the hero represents order amid chaos, virtue vs. vice, in short the culture of Man vs. untamed natural (or preternatural) forces.” I will not begin to shorten everything TCHD does into this “hero” formula, but if you’ve read anything about what they do- you will see how everyone fits the hero definition.
Jane had me crying the most. She spoke about my “freeness” and “openness” explaining how I have become a great friend to her. She said she would be honored to call me her daughter. Then, she asked me to be her first child. She already has four children, but I would be the oldest, or the “first born” as she put it. I gladly accepted and gave up on trying to wipe away my tears.
TCHD is a community that works to build up other communities. But they do it in such an amazing, beautiful way- by being a coherent community first among themselves.
The new covenant is a community-building, mustard-seed covenant of forgiveness, love and hope in which the temples are people and where God dwells in the midst of them during their gatherings for prayer, worship and mutual edification. In the new covenant people are taught by God and have the law written on their hearts as new beings and transformed creations who are connected to God in the depths of their spirituality (Hebrews 8:8-13).
Anyway, so, what have I learned? Well, I still have never read or seen the LOTR series, but again I will use Frodo as a role-model and quotes from the book (someday I hope to actually read it- I could be pretty wrong, but either way, just use what I am saying and not the rest of the story). I will put it in terms of a quest that I am on because it’s the easiest way to do it.
It’s a quest undertaken out of love. It is very simple really- to save the world. I see now how that can and probably will be at my own expense- even the expense of my life. I know that I am wholly inadequate for the job, but I will just do what I can, try to find a way, and go as far as my mind and body will allow. All of that I already knew, but now I know it more. Working with people here at Tenwek has shown me first hand that I am not alone on this quest- many have gone before me and many are with me now. I do not know the way, but I know there are many paths for different people to take.
A great dread fell on him, as if he was awaiting the pronouncement of some doom that he had long foreseen and vainly hoped might after all never be spoken. An overwhelming longing to rest and remain at peace… filled all his heart. At last with an effort he spoke, and wondered to hear his own words, as if some other will was using his small voice.
“I will take [up the quest],” he said, “though I do not know the way.” (324)
And, I do not know how Frodo’s journey turns out, but I know I will fail. There is no way for me to “save the world” but that doesn’t change my quest to spread love around the world. This love is the divine energy source of the world- God. Knowing that I am devoting my life to a mission I can never accomplish could be considered daunting- but I think it’s more freeing.
The special morning was SUCH a humbling experience. I did not deserve the attention they gave me. I think that’s why I was really crying. Imagine Mother Theresa thanking you for visiting Calcutta during your summer break, or a prince washing the dirt off your feet. Okay wow, it’s 1am and I have such a busy day tomorrow. On to my actual day!
After that, Josh and I joined Reuben to first Jane’s home, then on to Kabosam in the Sigor district (about 40 km away- WE COULD SEE TANZANIA). First, we went to a school and met with the teachers and grandparents/adoptive parents of orphans. I interviewed them, and got to learn exactly how “Equipping the churches” works (they equip adults to take in the orphans- by giving a cow to the family or paying for school fees or uniforms). I met a grandfather who cares for eleven orphans. I met other grandparents who take care of two or three kids- but eleven, wow! And again, they thanked me for coming. From there, we went to a mama’s house and saw the cows and crops and stuff. We went to like 6 different places today, so I can really only write the most memorable ones. We stopped at Reuben’s village and met his father and family. His father has three wives, so it was kind of confusing to keep track of everyone- but they were preparing for a party and had just slaughtered a goat. They really do use EVERY part of it, and I looked at Reuben and was like, “Reuben, I trust you enough to tell me if it’s rude for me to decline this.” And he said, “yes I would definitely tell you, you do not have to eat it, someone else will.” I still TRIED because Josh was eating his. We sprinkled salt on it. My first bite (and it’s not like this is my first time with foreign food- it’s just I could actually tell what the intestines were and stuff)- felt like when you buckle in for a scary roller coaster (kind of what it’s like watching a baby being born). I chewed that first bite for ten minutes before swallowing, and then pushed my bowl in Reuben’s direction. From there we went to a few more places, then to a satellite office of Tenwek where they provide hospital care. It’s much smaller than Tenwek, but people can still receive care and emergencies are accepted at all times. Theeen, we went to an all girls school. I had such a great time getting to talk to the teachers and the girls, and Josh got to join in on a game of volleyball. What was supposed to be a “quick stop” turned into a two hour visit. We stopped for ice cream on the way home, AND at Reuben’s house by Tenwek to meet his kids and wife. Serious off-roading the whole day.
We got back around 8pm, and I headed down to the Gainey’s, but then left to go up to see the mothers. Sarah Baskin and Abby went up before they left this morning, but I hadn’t been up all day. I didn’t have anything with me (like my computer for music), so I just sat and talked with them. I really took it all in as we sang Hakuna Mungo Kama Wawa. I really wanted to stop in at the nursery, to say goodnight to the nurses and babies. I walked in and there was a new baby (just born) with fetal hydrocephalus. I have seen babies born and babies die, but I have NEVER seen anything like that baby. Daniel explained to me how it occurs because the cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) in the ventricles of the brain do not drain. The brain then expands and expands and the bones grow with it- the only reason the baby is still alive is because he’s a baby. If that happened to an adult they would die almost instantly. To give you somewhat of an idea- this babies head is about the same size as the rest of the whole body. Anyway, I got to hold some babies that were crying to get them to stop crying (which they did). And I decided with the nurses that I should be a professional baby holder.
Okay, that’s just some of my day. And I don’t think I ever posted anything for yesterday. It’ll have to come later.
Please pray for my family.
I am down to three days. On Friday, Petra, James, Patti and I are heading up to Mount Montigo to watch the sunrise, then to Bomet to catch a matatu to Nairobi. We are sleeping at Patti’s house, and then I have to be at the airport at 7am Saturday morning. It’s strange!! Six weeks is the longest time I’ve ever been in another country- and I thought by the end I’d be ready to go back, but I’m not. I feel like I’m just getting settled here. In the first few weeks things were kind of calm. I was busy from 8-5 every day, but it was work I enjoyed and I definitely felt comfortable saying, “oh well, we can do [whatever] tomorrow that we don’t get done today.” And I loved saying that. Because everyone is always on the hospital compound, people are always able to be found and quick pick-up soccer games really can be pushed to the next day.
AH! Anyway this morning I recorded music. We’ve got nine songs recorded. Tomorrow Richard is bringing his keyboard, and I’m going to try to get a guitar up there. I’m really excited to have these songs in Kipsigis. Swahili you can buy anywhere- Kipsigis I’m not so sure about! Then, it was all computer stuff. After lunch, I donned scrubs and headed up to the nursery and the mothers ward. We spent a good amount of time there. I had a really tight schedule but I ended up staying longer because everyone wanted to sing. There just isn’t enough time in the day! Good news about the website. It’s still not up, but I did get to move it from TCHD’s computer to the one up at the hospital that can connect to the satellite or whatever. I would love to see it uploaded before I leave.
After doing that I headed down to the OR. Wasn’t too busy. Tomorrow I am determined to see a c-section. I talked to the head-nurse today and I’m gonna check in with her in the morning. This evening we all took a wonderful walk down to the waterfalls. Quick dinner at about 7, and then back up to the hospital until 930. I just got in from playing games down at the wallyball court.
I can’t believe I’m going home!!! I am so excited to see my family and friends, but it’s just a little unreal. These last three days are going to be intense- filled to the brim with last minute stuff that really could be a full-time job for anyone who wants to take it! Chelsea, when I meet you in London, I will hopefully be totally used up and exhausted.
I am trying not to get frustrated. I do not want to have any regrets, and looking back and saying, “I shouldn’t have taken that afternoon off to rest” will not do anything now. It’s just- there’s so much still to do!! Even if I had a whole lifetime here- I couldn’t love all the people I want to love. I wouldn’t be able to make everyone smile and ease everyone’s pain. That’s an awkward way to put it, but what I’m getting at is that I MUST keep the higher goal in mind.
And this is all that I can say right now. I know it’s not much. And this is all that I can give. Yeah, this is my everything. I didn’t notice You were standing here. I didn’t know that, that was You holding me. I didn’t notice You were cry’n too..
And now I will show you the most excellent way:
If I speak in tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give up all I possess and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient; love is kind; it does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will pass away; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection, then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love.
– I Corinthians, chapter 13The entire law is summed up in a single command, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
- Galatians 5:14 (NIV)
Sorry I haven’t had time to update! This weekend was very very busy. Saturday morning I slept in (until 8am, woot) and during the day I joined in on a surgical conference hosted by Tenwek. There were slides of the most interesting cases seen around Africa (but I only saw a few). We also talked about the post-election violence and discussed future emergency procedures. Here are some random things I wrote down.
- Most people perished before reaching the hospital. People were burned inside their homes or were killed in the streets from hand to hand injuries.
- “Receiving victims is not enough, we need to speak out. We need to educate the politicians on health care!” – Someone
- The numbers of injured and dead are higher than reported by the media (although I do not know how much higher) for two reasons, 1. Only the bodies identified are reported and 2. People who were buried alive were not counted. Only now are the graves starting to be found and people buried alive a few months ago are being dug up.
- El Doret sent a distress call, but no one could travel on the roads so it was impossible to reach them. Someone from Nakuru suggested that we need to be more prepared with government and military security to fly doctors into the hardest hit areas during the next emergency* (follow star below). Someone from Tenwek explained that we had done just that. John Wright was in touch with the MP’s and had military personnel escort those who needed to be evacuated (Kikuyu’s) with armed vehicles to a helicopter. Have I mentioned how incredible he is?
*I cannot say enough how amazing it is to be surrounded by people who risk their lives and sanity to serve the Lord and those around them. I say sanity because living here- well, just read my experiences- and I’m not even in the hospital most of the week!!
Other parts were way over my head, but I still learned a lot. At dinner, it was cool to meet people from Nakuru and Kijabe, and hear their stories. I also got some quality soccer playing time with the White boys- although definitely not enough!
Spent most of today in the hospital with Sarah Baskin and Abby. I borrowed their camera and we went up to the nursery to hold the babies and take pictures. I really would love to be a professional photographer but I still have so much to learn! It’s difficult because I do not know how to say, “Can I please take your picture” in Swahili nor Kipsigis. So, it’s like a five minute game of charades every time- because I really do not want to be rude and just snap it! There is certainly a picture paradox and I’m still trying to figure it out. I don’t want to be the rich white tourist just walking around snapping pictures around the hospital- but at the same time, a part of why I’m here is to bring back stories and share with people what is going on. I think the five weeks here really has allowed me to get to know the mothers, the children in the ped’s ward, and their families. When I go in and I ask for a picture (I waited until this week to ask) I actually have a reason, a name, and a story to go with their face. But it’s hard! The image of a tourist leaning out of a bus with a camera to photograph the almost naked, starving children walking along the road barefoot, not in school, carrying dirty water for who knows how many miles- it just makes me cringe. I don’t want to be that person.
But I can’t figure it out!!! I will write more tomorrow when I’m not so tired!
I did just want to say that I am feeling much better than Friday. I really needed some down time- and although it was only a few hours of late night card games and soccer+wallyball- it certainly was just what I needed. Hanging out with Josh, the Champions, and Tia has really helped. Someone asked how people do it- deal with the harsh realities here, and not go crazy- and this is how- being crazy with friends and family and LOVE. That’s really it. AND the Whites are back, so I showed up at their door to return some DVD’s yesterday morning and was like, “hey, we met on a canoe in New Hampshire…” We figured out it was 1997 to be exact! More on surviving in Africa and photographing and everything tomorrow!!!
Yesterday was a bit hectic. I spent the day out at an immunization clinic with Tia Patrick and Josh Roose. Before the babies arrived, I learned to drive stick shift (like the car gears) up a mountain. We spent most of the time in gear one because there simply was no road. We took a quick trip to see a hot spring. A hot spring is exactly that- a hot spring- but the water actually comes out of the ground really HOT!! And you can see it bubble up out of the dirt! I thought it was awesome. Yesterday feels like a year ago, so I’ll keep it short. We stopped at a grocery store on the way home and treated ourselves to some ice cream. As we walked in, a guy greeted us with “MZUNGUS WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” (The equivalent of, “WHITE PEOPLE, what are you doing here?) but in a very friendly way.
Today was a long day. Parts of it were awesome so I’ll start with those. The clinic was held at a health facility in Kanusin (in the Sotik District). The community built the health center and handed it over to the government to run, but every year the government stalls on opening it and providing services. There is one government staffed nurse but she is not equipped well. TCHD will continue to give out immunizations and encourage the people to live healthy until the government gets their act together. Playing with the babies is always fun, and I learned a lot about giving immunizations and even got to give a few (the oral polio ones- I just prepared the shots for tetanus, whooping cough, dypheria, hemophyillis, influenza B, and hepatitis B).
Playing with the babies is always fun. Apparently every mom complains about this, but I swear, these babies would smile and laugh and I’d take the camera out and they’d suddenly stop. It wasn’t that they were scared of it- I think they would just prefer to eat it. A mentally retarded girl who did not want to get her shots really hit me hard. Both physically and emotionally. Through Florence, I found out from her grandmother that her mother had died giving birth to her at Tenwek Hospital, and there had been a month period where no family members had been there to take care of her. As I helped hold her for her vaccines, I couldn’t help but think of the babies up in the nursery right now, and of Joseph. The doctors and nurses are incredible people- and they really do love the babies, but of course being motherless for those first few months will have an impact.
There was also a mother who brought in a boy with a deformed foot (the left foot was turned all the way in). I explained that we can fix that at Tenwek, and it’s a very simple operation although there are follow-up operations. She explained that would be too “expensive” and it would take away from her other children. It’s weird talking to moms here who look my age or younger, but have four children.
Jane, a woman at TCHD I’ve grown really close with and the leader for Maternal Child Health, came with us today. It was such a privilege getting to talk to her about all the cultural things and what it means to be a leader here. She clarified all the different tribes. I don’t know about the spelling and I don’t have enough of a connection to check, but the three main groups are the Bantus, Nylotes, and Cushites.
The Bantus include the Kukuyu’s and Kisi, while the Nylotes include the Kalenjin, Luo, and Maasai. The Cushites live along the coast. During all the violence a few months ago, the Nylotes (Kalenjin’s, Luo’s, Maasai) and Cushites came together to fight the majority- the Kukuyu’s. Now, fighting is going on between the Kipsigis (sub-tribe under Kalenjin) and the Maasai. Some of it’s political, but it’s also about land and cows. “Blood is thicker than water” is how Jane puts it.
Because of the funeral this weekend for the MP and assistant MP who died in the crash, the clinic was slow. We listened the whole day to songs and speeches and family members talking about Labosa- and it was really really interesting. On the drive back, we ended up at the funeral (just one day of it). We had seen a helicopter fly over while we were working and one of the guys told me that’s probably what it was, but I wasn’t prepared for what I saw. Thousands of people were out paying respects in the rain. Cameras weren’t allowed, but the nurses told me I would be safe as long as I took pictures in the car. We watched as they loaded the body back into the helicopter (we arrived at the end) and the people scattered as the helicopter took off. Everyone watched it disappear out of the valley. The amnesty issue definitely came up- people want youths arrested for the violence following the elections pardoned. They’ve been sitting in jail without trail for months now. I haven’t made up my mind yet, but I agree with both, “someone who cheated a whole country is still allowed to be president, but kids who protested that cheating are put in jail, that’s not right.” BUT, at the same time- this was violence that killed, that raped and looted and displaced 300,000 people. There’s no way that can go unpunished.
I really want to go to the funeral tomorrow, but there will be ten+ thousand people there, and I doubt I’ll see anything. Also, there’s a medical conference here and some of it is devoted to how the violence affected the hospital and the types of cases we saw then. So, I think I’m going to do that.
After the funeral, I don’t know what happened but I got into a really weird mood. We got stuck in Bomet as the thousands spread out. We kept letting more people get in the car for the ride back to Tenwek. In Kenya, even if you have 12 people crammed in the back, there’s “always room for one more.” It was stuffy, wet and cold, and it was difficult to breathe because some petroleum had spilled. I was wedged in between John, Gilbert, and Clement, and the bar had broken on the top of the truck that we used to hold on- so we were all going everywhere (my neck is VERY sore).
I knew my attitude was in serious trouble when I prayed that we wouldn’t pick up an elderly woman who was limping (and we didn’t). The “New Yorker” in me started showing through crystalized in the worst form. As we bumped down the road to Tenwek, I found myself thinking for the first time, “what am I DOING here?!” Waking up in the London airport, and the first morning here was a strange, “wait, who am I again?” experience because I was around the world totally alone. Waking up to the smell of Josh and his father cooking pancakes, eggs, and bacon made me think in my dream-like state that I was actually home in New York. But today’s feeling was something totally different. It was second thoughts about coming. I didn’t have second thoughts when I (lost my luggage, ate a bug, woke up almost choking entangled in a mosquito net, forgot toilet paper+hand sanitizer when using a latrine, saw a baby die, watched a hemophiliac all but bleed to death, etc., etc.,- pick any of those or any of the other million new experiences that might make me think twice). Now, I almost think it comical that it was the traffic that ticked me off.
I remained silent the whole trip and I think everyone just thought I was tired- but in my head I was reeling about personal space, and why we stopped for drinks when we could’ve driven out of the city before everyone reached us and created traffic. It just wasn’t good, and after an hour of stop and go “traffic” (traffic isn’t even a word here I think- but today it was). I came back and did everything I could to just re-focus. I showered, put on totally new clothes and socks, and sat down for some quality me time. I set my books down on my bed, grabbed some chocolate and turned on some good music until dinner.
I was flipping through my iPod today and the song God Bless America came on. It made me so mad- not the song itself, but America and how self-obsessed we are. What would we think if other country’s did what we do. What if France touted “God Bless France” everywhere. “God Bless EVERYONE” sounds better to me. I can be very patriotic and there’s something about an American Flag, and the values we stand for, and the people who have fought and died to make those values a reality that always brings tears to my eyes, but the American Dream as I’ve seen it lived out in Westchester is not any dream.
More on that another night though.
I’m feeling better now and I’m looking forward to tomorrow. A day like today reminds me that I cannot do this alone, but only with God’s strength.
Here’s an article from the paper today. Read the rest of this entry »
